{"id":2044,"date":"2003-01-04T02:56:00","date_gmt":"2003-01-04T02:56:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.celesteh.com\/blog\/2003\/01\/04\/my-new-gre-book-sucks\/"},"modified":"2015-06-19T00:27:31","modified_gmt":"2015-06-18T23:27:31","slug":"my-new-gre-book-sucks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.celesteh.com\/blog\/2003\/01\/04\/my-new-gre-book-sucks\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"<p>My new GRE book sucks.<br \/>\nI awakened in an utterly <b>austere<\/b> room.  I was lying on a cot and bare lightbulb hung overhead.  I tried to sit up, but fireworks exploded behind my eyes.  Afetr a minute, the fireworks <b>abated<\/b>.  I swung my legs around to stand up.  Standing was <b>arduous<\/b> but I stayed on my feet.<br \/>\nThe door at the end of the room opened and a man who looked quite a bit like me walked in.  &#8220;Jane Smith, we meet at last.&#8221; he said, &#8220;You&#8217;re lucky some of my agents were aboard Dr. Cool&#8217;s hovercraft, or you would be dead from <b>astringent<\/b> gas.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;You have my <b>approbation<\/b> for that.&#8221; I replied.  &#8220;Are you, by chance, Mr. Anderson?&#8221;<br \/>\nHe smiled.  &#8220;You demonstrate excellent <b>acumen<\/b>.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Thank you for your <b>accolade<\/b>.  Why is everyone looking for you?&#8221;<br \/>\nHe smiled again, but this time it was <b>acerbic<\/b>.  &#8220;They say everone wants to be wanted.  But it&#8217;s an <b>axiom<\/b> not to give away too much to your enemy.  Ironically, my henchmen saved you because they thought you were me. If you&#8217;re <b>amenable<\/b> you can remain here alive, but imprisoned.  Otherwise, it&#8217;s really the end for you.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Where&#8217;s Shelia?!&#8221; I demanded.<br \/>\n&#8220;Fine.  Safe.  She&#8217;s practicing being an <b>ascetic<\/b>, as are you.  I must say she had a bit more <b>alacrity<\/b> than you&#8217;re demonstrating.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Why do you want us imprisoned?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Because I&#8217;m guilty of <b>avarice.<\/b>  There&#8217;s a great fortune to be made out in the dessert, as JK, Dr. Cool and I all realize.&#8221;<br \/>\nJust then, there was a large explosion in the hallway.  A section of the wall collapsed, opening up the hallway and my cell to the outside.  Mr. Anderson umped out of the way and two gaurds hustled him to safety.  &#8220;Sieze them!&#8221; he cried, as he ran to safety.  Shelia appeared in the hole grabbed my arm and we ran together outside, where we saw the hovercraft.  &#8220;Jump in!&#8221;  She said.<br \/>\nShe got behind the controls and piloted us away.  The gaurds shot, but their bullets ricochetted off the armored hull.<br \/>\n&#8220;How on earch did you escape and blow up the wall?&#8221; I asked, filled with <b>adulation<\/b> for her.<br \/>\n&#8220;Oh, just a litle <b>alchemy<\/b>.  I realized that my soup, when compined with bird droppings that I scraped from the window and some household cleaner would make a powerful explosive. Anyway, we must get to Dr. Cool&#8217;s hideout right away!&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>My new GRE book sucks. I awakened in an utterly austere room. I was lying on a cot and bare lightbulb hung overhead. I tried to sit up, but fireworks exploded behind my eyes. Afetr a minute, the fireworks abated. I swung my legs around to stand up. Standing was arduous but I stayed on &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.celesteh.com\/blog\/2003\/01\/04\/my-new-gre-book-sucks\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\"><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"activitypub_content_warning":"","activitypub_content_visibility":"","activitypub_max_image_attachments":4,"activitypub_interaction_policy_quote":"anyone","activitypub_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[76,282],"class_list":["post-2044","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorised","tag-celesteh","tag-gre"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.celesteh.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2044","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.celesteh.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.celesteh.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.celesteh.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.celesteh.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2044"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.celesteh.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2044\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4297,"href":"https:\/\/www.celesteh.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2044\/revisions\/4297"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.celesteh.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2044"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.celesteh.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2044"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.celesteh.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2044"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}