new pope!

Not but barely over an hour ago, the vatican announced the selection of a new pope. after the traditional white smoke rose from the chimney, a spokes person came forward to announce “popus hablam” “we have a pope.” The crowd burst into cheers as Pope Archie Bunker II made his first public appearance, blessing the crowd.

“My fellow Catholics,” the new Pope addressed the throngs, “My work as head of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith has prepared me to take up this new role. I am prepared to take this church forward into the 21st century, by promoting celibacy, scapegoating gay people, stooping the evils of condoms and letting mysogony thrive wherever it’s seed lands, like the sewer spreading the word of the lord.” He then raised his hand in blessing over the crowd, “May God bless you and lead you from sin, keep you heterosexual. Amen.” the new pope then retreated into seclusion.
While pope Archie Bunker II was head of the CDC, they issued documents on a number of social issues, among them a tract On the Pastoral Care of Homosexual Persons which stated that such persons were “insitrinsically disordered” and in no case worthy of approval. The document recommended against allowing homosexual persons speak to each other, lest they become overwhelmed by temptation. The document was widely criticized as “pastoral” usually refers to loving care and avoids making condemnations. The CDC followed up to it’s controversial document with a tract On the Doctrinal Care of Homosexual Persons which called for public stonings. The then-head of the CDC, now pope told reporters, “You want hard line? you haven’t seen nothing yet! We would have called for the death penalty in the ‘pastoral’ document, but I guess we’re against that now.”
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Lock Up Your Children

Despite the visibility of the same sex marriage movement, queers are not usually the focus of right wing pundits’ ire. Homophobia is often used as an aside. Alien others are compared to homosexuals to emphasize the otherness of the target group and the degeneracy they must therefore represent. Gayness is a symbol and gay people themselves are usually invisible. Therefore, because it was never a focus, I collected samples of homophobia, but did not engage it directly as an issue until late in my time at Wesleyan. My own status as an alien other informed my work, but was not directly represented.
During the spring of 2005, a furor erupted over a children’s TV series called Postcards from Buster. In one episode, a cartoon rabbit meets real life kids who have two moms. Nothing is ever said about this fact and the women are not identified as lesbians. The focus of the episode is on sugar production in Vermont. The show was so innocuous, that the left treated the situation as a joke. The Wonkette, with typical irony, described the episode as disappointing in its lack of objectionable content. (http://www.wonkette.com/politics/culture-war/too-hot-for-pbs-buster-does-vermont-035656.php) A Slate columnist jokingly questioned, “Is ‘maple sugaring’ actually code for some sort of sexual practice between women?” (http://slate.msn.com/id/2112706/) Most left wing commentaries seemed to ignore the entire event. Wesleyan’s own undergraduate queer community seemed to be entirely unaware of the controversy. A message to the campus’ queer mailing list, “endless acronym.” urged people to watch the episode when it aired locally, but never mentioned the controversy.
Much ado, however, was made of this issue by some right wing media figures like Bill O’Reilly, who frequently who has cautioned his viewers on multiple occasions that the recognition of same sex marriage will lead to the legalization of people marrying goats (http://mediamatters.org/items/200504150005) and thus bring about the destruction of our society as we know it. (http://mediamatters.org/items/200503310004) Most of the commentators seemed to be special homophobic guests, like spokespeople for Focus on the Family and not TV fixtures like O’Reilly.
O’Reilly was careful to explain that he wasn’t homophobic, but would equally block out all similar, heterosexual forms of degeneracy and perversion.

It’s not only about homosexuality . . .. I wouldn’t want Buster hopping into a bigamy situation in Utah. I wouldn’t want him hopping into an S&M thing in the East Village here . . . let’s keep Buster out of the sexual realm in all areas. Wouldn’t that be the best thing to do? (http://mediamatters.org/items/200502170007)

Dissecting the heteronormative nature of that remark is an exercise left to the reader. These comments, however, clearly are homophobic while he rather ridiculously claims that they are not.
O’Reilly’s comments made me yearn for the honesty of an honest-to-God homophobe. The obvious choice was Fred Phelps. This preacher became famous for showing up with picketers to funerals of AIDS victims. The signs the held said things like “God Hates Fags” “AIDS Kills Fags Dead” and sometimes would feature the name of the deceased and proclaim that he was now in hell. He showed up to Randy Shilts’ funeral in 1994 and was greeted by counter protesters armed with eggs. Phelps was an early adopter and has had a web page for the last several years at godhatesfags.com. He posts sermons there in mp3 format, all about one hour long. The tone of his sermons matches the tone of his protesting. Nevertheless, the words “lesbian” and “gay” have crept into his vocabulary, in addition to his preferred terms, “fags,” “dykes,” and “sodomites.”
Phelps is entirely occupied with the issue of queer civil rights and when he talks about political issues in other areas, he tends to see it as it pertains to the evil sodomite agenda. He tends to view anyone that does not spend as much time occupied with hating sodomites as much as he does as pro-gay. Therefore, he pickets Catholic churches, Billy Graham and other fundamentalists that most queers would perceive as homophobic. Phelps would affirm O’Reilly’s claim of tolerance and attack him for it. O’Reilly pales in comparison.
Phelps’s hour longer sermon was too long and too meandering to process automatically. It also was extremely distorted. He recorded it much too hot, which made the spaces between phrases fairly loud. I selected emblematic homophobic phrases from one sermon and created several shorter audio files containing those phrases. I used automatic processing on my O’Reilly sample, which came from Media Matters with other Buster- related content of “Republican pollster Kellyanne Conway [asserting] that it’s not an issue of ‘right versus left, but right versus wrong’ and that people ‘don’t want their kids looking at a cartoon with a bunch of lesbian mothers.’” (http://mediamatters.org/items/200502170007) I took the phrases pre-loaded from Phelps and the ones automatically discovered in O’Reilly and used the pitch finding algorithm that I developed for my Rush Limbaugh piece. I also used the same marimba sound. When that sound expands to the time scale of a spoken phrase, it becomes much more gamelan or gong-link.
I was concerned that re-using my Limbaugh code would make the pieces sound too similar. I went to Professor Kuivila for feedback. He told me that the pieces were adequately distinct and suggested that I take the Phelps piece further. Instead of merely showing similarity between right and far right discourse, Ron suggested that I add in mainstream commentary to show how all discourse contains homophobia, as we all have some degree of internalized homophobia. I found content from PBS’s News Hour commenting on the Buster controversy and incorporated it.
I then added in other commentary clips discussing Buster and other homophobic audio files I had been collecting, including the president excluding same sex marriage, an initially puzzling comment that poor school discipline was the fault of queers (this comment is discussed in a previous chapter) and a Fox News correspondent badgering Disney’s president about “Gay Days” in the theme park. (http://mediamatters.org/items/200408060012) All of these clips had in common an idea of incompatibility between queer relationships and ‘normal’ family life. Queers are unfit for marriage and, perhaps more importantly, we are dangerous to children. Children at Disneyland are not protected from us. Children in New Jersey cannot be educated because their governor is gay. Children across the nation are irreparably harmed by Buster commenting that one of the kids on the show “has a lot of moms.” (http://slate.msn.com/id/2112706/) The danger doesn’t seem to be just that the kids will turn gay, but they will become every kind of alien other. Violent, sexual, dangerous, perhaps animal, not quite civilized monsters, who exist outside of social norms.
I finished this piece only days before my concert. My original plan was to realize all of my pieces in stereo, so that I could use the chapel’s installed speakers, thus saving myself setup time and creating pieces that could be played virtually anywhere. I plugged my laptop into the chapel’s sound system and was met with Rev Fred Phelps screaming about fire and brimstone and sodomites burning in hell. The chapel setting gave him authority. Church is his own turf. His damnation seemed almost reasonable. I could not compete with him through the architectural speakers. Instead, I routed all the voices through two small speakers on the stage. The gong sounds went through the architectural speakers alone. They are introduced slowly as the piece progresses and linger after the voices end, getting the last word. The greater authority of the musical sounds and their persistence fills an allegory of music triumphing over politics.

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Guess who is on the Cover of Time Magazine!

I’ll give you a clue. This person wrote (according to the article), “that court-ordered school-desegregation plans have led to ‘illiterate students knifing one another between acts of sodomy in the stairwell.'” Oh, that ignorant, violent and sexually untamed alien other has come for our children! *shriek!* Yeah, Time also identified Protest Warrior guys as lefties. Time‘s capacity to screw up facts, do terrible surface treatments and get things wrong ought to be legendary if it is not already.

What else am I learning from Time? Um, Ann Coulter is really quite huggable and blushes sometimes in public! Of, and she’s soooo sexy! She’s complicated! Misunderstood! Humorous! Ironic! Full of witty satire demonizing black people and queers! (The demonizing black folks and queers line is my added sarcastic bit, you see, Ann’s just trying to push buttons, tee hee)
“And of course the biggest case Coulter ever helped handle as an attorney (she got her law degree from the University of Michigan in 1988) was a sexual-harassment claim of an unsophisticated woman against her powerful former boss.” Three guesses what this is referring to! Three guesses about Ann Coulter’s softer, more female-friendly side! Who is the boss? That’s right! Bill Clinton! The woman helped by Coulter is former playboy model Paula Jones! Remember the Starr Report? The impeachment? Oh yeah . . .
The verdict? Coulter rules! ” The officialdom of punditry, so full of phonies and dullards, would suffer without her humor and fire.”

Update: Media Matters Smackdown. Unlike the “smackdown” in Coulter’s latest column where she claims that the folks who threw pies at her had their bones broken by conservatives. Not true. Latest column. Too much work for time. Maybe they rely on “Communists for Kerry” to do their research for them.
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no THIS is fucking bullshit

In another example, some of Rush Limbaugh’s distortions surrounding the Iraq prison abuse scandal clearly rise to the level of bullshit. Frankfurt writes:

Bullshit is unavoidable whenever circumstances require someone to talk without knowing what he is talking about. Thus the production of bullshit is stimulated whenever a person’s obligations or opportunities to speak about some topic exceed his knowledge of the facts that are relevant to that topic. This discrepancy is common in public life, where people are frequently impelled . . . to speak extensively on matters of which they are to some degree ignorant. (P 63)

Therefore, any circumstance where someone claimed authority on a topic that he or she had not adequately researched, would constitute bullshit. Limbaugh, by virtue of his position as a radio commentator, implicitly claims authority on matters he addresses. He often explicitly claims authority as well. On one of the many occasions he addresses the torture scandal, he claimed authority while making an assertion that was not factually correct, saying

Even this latest picture of a dog and a nude Iraqi . . . the picture caption “Dog attacks Iraqi.” No, the dog isn’t attacking anyone, the dog’s on a leash. The dog is scaring an Iraqi prisoner. . .. The dog didn’t attack anybody. The dog’s not attacking anybody. The dog’s on a leash. Both of them are. I’ve seen the pictures. …
(http://mediamatters.org/items/200405110002)

He claims authority with his statement, “I’ve seen the pictures.” However, his assertion that the dogs did not attack is incorrect and he was forced to withdraw it later in the program.

Apparently, ladies and gentleman, I need to offer a modification . . .. apparently uh, well, there’s another picture later where . . . he’s writhing on the floor with a pool of blood. Apparently, the dog did bite his leg, but there’s no picture of that. I have just been, uh, informed of this. (Ibid)

If he had really seen all the pictures, he would have known that a subsequent picture in the same series showed that the dogs did indeed attack. He claimed authority without actually doing adequate research. Because the refuting picture was in the same set of photos, he could not claim that the prisoner was actually unhurt and lie (or bluff, or bullshit) his way through. His ignorance of this indicates that he was bluffing his way through the entire segment. When he was informed that he would not be able to get away with his bluff, he was forced to retract it. This bluffing is clearly bullshit.
I would go further to claim that it is not an isolated incident. In Rush Limbaugh’s case, the sheer number of hours he is on the air every day would almost make it impossible for him to avoid bullshit. Having a call-in radio show for five hours a day would be virtually impossible to adequately prepare for unless the conversation were limited to a very specific topic, and even then, it would be a Herculean task to come up with so many hours of insightful and factually correct commentary. Rush Limbaugh’s pattern of bullshit, especially surrounding the prison abuse scandal, is addressed in more detail in a subsequent chapter.

I feel happier about this now. And I want to not write about it so much. For x’s sake! This is fucking bullshit. (the irony of this chapter is not lost on me)
I went to Dave Ruder’s thesis concert a couple of weeks back and he sung a song which repeated the lyrics over and over again of “This is fucking bullshit. There’s a werewolf in the flower bed.” It’s been stuck in head since, especially as I write about bullshit. He must give me a tape! I’m trying to get it out of my head by listening to my iPod on random. Strangely ecclectic experience. The content is about the percentage of “i’m a composer” as i would have expected. Plus some pop music that I really like. Plus totally generic but still pleasing bland pop like Oasis. Sorry if you really like them. They’re very much examples of their genre, which is to say generic.
UPDATE: Hey, with some work, I could automatically generate my thesis! But seriously, this code could be hella useful for fake punditry or real poetry/ text sound/ cut-up applications.
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this is fucking bullshit

Frankfurt does not provide a formula for clearly identifying bullshit, seeming instead to rely on an implied “I know it when I see it” approach. He does identify sources of bullshit. “The realms of advertising and of public relations and the nowadays closely related realm of politics, are replete with instances of bullshit so unmitigated that they can serve among the most indisputable and classic paradigm of the concept.” (P 22) When he was interviewed on The Daily Show, he was asked if political “spin” constituted bullshit and he replied that it was a type of bullshit.
The job of pundits is to create spin, so it seems fair to label them as bullshitters. The anti-Clinton fairy tales reported by Brock were so divorced from reality such that they could correctly be called bullshit. (Clinton murdered Vince Foster, is one such claim, the “evidence” was that he murdered hundreds of people in Arkansas and Hillary Clinton’s affair with Vince Foster. Lies built upon falsehood, built upon imagination.) In another example, as we shall see in a subsequent chapter, the level of distortion created by Rush Limbaugh surrounding the Iraqi prison abuse scandal is so complete that I would characterize it as bullshit and would go further to claim that it is not an isolated incident. In Rush Limbaugh’s case, the sheer number of hours he is on the air every day would almost make it impossible for him to avoid bullshit. Frankfurt explains:

Bullshit is unavoidable whenever circumstances require someone to talk without knowing what he is talking about. Thus the production of bullshit is stimulated whenever a person’s obligations or opportunities to speak about some topic exceed his knowledge of the facts that are relevant to that topic. This discrepancy is common in public life, where people are frequently impelled . . . to speak extensively on matters of which they are to some degree ignorant. (P 63)

Having a call-in radio show for five hours a day would be virtually impossible to adequately prepare for unless the conversation were limited to a very specific topic, and even then, it would be a Herculean task to come up with so many hours of insightful and factually correct commentary.
In another example, in the movie Outfoxed, Al Franken recounted a conversation he had with his lawyer about suing Bill O’Reilly for libel. His lawyer advised him that O’Reilly lied so habitually about everything that it would actually be more difficult to prove a slander suit because O’Reilly had created a lower standard of truth for himself that would protect him in a court case. This certainly implies a lack of concern for the truth. Frankfurt warns of one danger of habitual bullshitting, “Through excessive indulgence . . . a person’s normal habit of attending to the way things are may become attenuated or lost.” (P 60)
Those who trust Limbaugh and O’Reilly must necessarily distrust media outlets that report conflicting truths. This creates a lack of confidence in the media.

Edit: Yeah, this is a fucking music thesis. what the fuck? suddenly, i’m in philosophical discussions about bullshit, but you know, this is kind of linked to William S Burroughs tape cut-up pieces:

William S Burroughs influenced Kahn, like many cut-up artists. “My sense of Wm Burroughs’ cut-ups is that they were parlor entertainments if not, at times, magical devices. The two are not mutually exclusive, and neither parlor nor entertainment should be taken in a derogatory manner.” (http://www.tate.org.uk/contact/forums/onlineevents/thread.jsp?forum=43&thread=2471&tstart=0&trange=15) Burroughs has two pieces out in the newly re-released Ou archives. Valentines Day Reading is Burroughs reading phrases that seem to come from the news. Phrases are read in between short, screechy, alarm-like sounds. No effort is made to change the meaning of the news. It seems as if the purpose is to obscure the meaning rather than reframe it in any way. In his book The Ticket that Exploded, Burroughs talked about tape cut up as a way to replace and ultimately destroy discourse.

Nobody has to be there at all – So why ask questions and why answer? – Why give orders and why make speeches? – Why not leave your take with her and dispense with sexual contact? – And then? – Since no one is there to listen, why keep running the tape? — Why not shut the whole machine off and go home? (P 168)

He enthusiastically supported such an idea, especially how it pertained to political discourse. “Splice yourself in with newscasters, prime ministers, presidents. Why stop there? Why stop anywhere? Everybody splice himself in with everybody else. Communication must be total. only way to stop it.” (P 167-8) This idea of total information remixing, with everyone speaking interspersed with and on top of everyone else, as being the absence of information could be as much an analysis of “cross talk” as it could be an idea for art destroying media. This method of non-communication has become the norm in televised political discourse. It is one of many ways that communication is halted through punditry.

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album: seeking feedback

I’m thinking of “Political Voices and Just” as the title. I think I want the cover art to be glitch art of Ann Coulter or Rush Limbaugh. If you know of Creative Commons licensed photos of those folks that allow commercial use and derivative works, please let me know. Less good, I could use a picture of Bush or even less good a US flag, but either of those would be ok for the back cover.

I’m not 100% certain on my two channel mix of my bush piece. What do you think? Scitilopolitics? Or is State of Disunion a better piece?
Update: Why is there no glitch tool in GIMP?
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misdeeds from my youth

My thesis defense is two weeks from yesterday. So what to do? Procrastinate!
First of all, I love my family. We were a standardly dysfunctional American family, which meant that during my teenage years, there was much friction.
When I was a child, I used to complain that we never went anywhere. This was actually true. We lived an hour from Santa Cruz. I didn’t go to the beach until I was 8. I didn’t experience snow until I was in college. I didn’t go to Yosemite until this very year. We didn’t get out much. When I was in my youth and I did travel with my parents, it was sometimes stressful. Being in confined places, like cars, with people you get along best with at a distance is something of a problem. Also, the homebody tendency often meant that we sort of got stuck in and around the hotel. We should have gone on a cruise together. It would have been perfect. Traveling without really going anywhere and lots of space.

I was almost never left home alone as a kid. My parents didn’t trust me. During the big earthquake in 1989, my mom was actually gone running errands and that didn’t seem to be unusual, so I think the lack of trust came later. Maybe it was the time neighbor kids (enticed by my “little” brother) broke in and started setting off firecrackers in the hallway and that I responded by attempting to shoo them off by grabbing the biggest kitchen knife I could find and waving it around. Or maybe it was the time that I, enraged at my brother, emptied his sock drawer onto his floor and he responded by smashing my bass guitar case (the guitar was still in it, but mercifully unhurt) and smashing my backpack into the ground repeatedly until all the pens broke and quite a few of the book bindings too. Ah, the foibles of teenagers. Anyway, I was never left alone. So I tried to stay away as often as possible. I did 723691246 extra curricular activities and took evening classes and summer school.
It’s not to say we didn’t have our moments of togetherness. My brother and I both took German in highschool and my dad, apparently inspired, took German at adult school at some point. I love my dad. He can look at any math problem I’ve ever seen and find an answer within moments. I almost published a math paper in highschool (another story), but it was my dad who found the formula. He is brilliant at math and engineering. His language skills are not as good, though. He tried out some of his German on me, “My douche is fruit bar.” he said. “I beg your pardon?” I said. Finally I realized he was trying to say Mein Deutsch is fructbar. which appropriately enough means “my German is terrible.” I laughed until I cried, while still trying to be encouraging. My dad didn’t take any more German after that. Alas. My brother hated school and hated German, as far as I can tell, because it was part of school. We never spoke German together. We probably would have killed each other if either of us could have come up with a way to do it and avoid punishment. So (this is ALL still buildup to the main story, so I can procrastinate in style), I liked speaking German and had taken more of it than the rest of my family. My dad was embarrassingly terrible at it and my brother sullenly refused to speak it. Speaking of embarrassing parents . . . well, no, never-mind, you were a teenager once. You know everything I would say. My parents were loud though. We all shouted at each other all the time, just to talk. Sometimes we would shout at each other about the neighbors. I was certain they could hear us. Augh, the psychic pain!
Ok, so one summer, my dad had the completely uncharacteristic idea that we should all go to Germany. We bought a book on Europe at $45 / day. We all got passport photos taken. He kept bugging me to find out when my summer classes ended. I didn’t know. I never know deadlines or when things end. I advised him to check the course catalog and told him which course I was taking. I was not a helpful teen. Finally, he bought tickets and made all the hotel reservations. I looked at the ticket dates and my final exam schedule and said “this is in the midst of my finals. I can’t go.” I noticed this maybe two weeks before we were supposed to go. The tickets, iirc, were non-refundable.
My parents did not make me drop the class as some might have done. It was Pascal or C or something at the local junior college. They did not just leave me behind, as I desperately hoped they would do. The just didn’t go. They never even talked about it again. The date came that we would have left and we just went on as if nothing had happened. My dad went to work. I went to school. We didn’t go to Germany. Oh, but we paid to go to Germany. The tickets, the hotel, everything.
I recall feeling some guilt over this. But mostly relief. I knew they weren’t going to let me go off on my own at all. I would be stuck in a confined space with my brother and two people who were so embarrassing that . . . well, you were a teenager once. And I would have been the designated speaker. They would have shouted at each other in english making all sorts of observations and then my dad would have tried out his incomprehensible loudly-using-the-closest-sounding-english-word-to-the -german-word-he-meant speaking and then I would have had to translate.
I, being highly self-centered and having a seriously defective memory, quickly forgot about everything. I probably wondered why everybody was being kind of sullen at me. But I think my brother felt relief too. It might have been a rare bonding moment. Maybe my parents did too. It’s not like they couldn’t have made me drop the class or left me behind.
And that is how my family didn’t go to Germany, even though they paid for it, because of me. And I feel guilt about it now even though I don’t think I felt much then. The end
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For the record

I have never wanted to marry a goat. And when i say I love my dog, i don’t mean that i love my dog.

also: fuck! fuck you! shut up! fuck you you fucking asshole! you’re fucking bullshit fucking fuckitty fuck you godfucking damnit you piece of shit go to fucking hell you goddamn fucking asshole. fuck you fuck you fuck you
Yes, I’m still very sorry for all the damage I’ve caused as a homosexual.
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I read the news today, oh boy

auuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh aaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee yarg bah bah damn damn damnGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

On an unrelated note it would be really great if my advisor would send me the edits on my thesis which is supposed to be due tomorrow. [Edit: stupid mail sever. ]
Half of Connecticut’s Episcopal churches are ready to split off because of encroachments by icky gay people. What’s so terrible about me that people would destroy their church rather than give me rights? I really don’t get it. It’s very dismaying.
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apology

William Donohue, president of the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights, asserted that “[t]he gay community has yet to apologize to straight people for all the damage that they have done” and denounced gays for “asking for more rights” while allegedly “acting so morally delinquent.”

I’m very sorry. I’m sorry I flirted with you in line at the grocery store, causing a backup in line and financial loss to the store. I’m sorry that my college shaved head did not provide jobs to beauticians. I’m sorry for any adverse financial consequences that I’ve inflicted on the cosmetics industry. I’m sorry for causing sexual insecurity in straight boys through the knowledge that lesbians are often much more skilled at certain tasks. I’m sorry for the brief popularization of flannel in the late 1990s. I’m sorry about the financial consequences of my decision to buy men’s clothes rather than more expensive and poorly made women’s clothes.
I really just want to come clean and get this all off my chest. All this damage I’ve caused by existing has been terrible for straight people. I feel your pain. I promise to never again ask for equal rights until everyone is totally comfortable with it.
I think to be fair, other minority groups should also apologize for any discomfort, loss, or harm inflicted upon the dominant group. Women must apologize to men (sorry for taking away so many of your rights, like spousal abuse). Blacks must apologize to whites. Jews must apologize to Christians. Let’s all get started on this so that healing can begin.
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