Category: Uncategorised

I’m probably forgetting things. Here’s my list:

• First symphony performed
• Tuba solo in a Bill Dixon concert
• Hard disk died
• Wrote Master Thesis and got degree
• Recorded album with Anthony Braxton (should be out soon)
• Moved my self and my stuff from Connecticut to California (while briefly being stranded with a broken car during the trip)
• Learned French (sorta)
• Fled a tsunami (only 1 cm high, but, you know…)
• Garden of Memory Concert laptop improvisation
• BRINK series laptop music performance in SF (highest profile concert to date – profiled in the SF Weekly)
• Moved to France
• Saw Venice Biannual
• Went Wine Tasting in Bordeaux

Also: Music I wrote and recorded in 2005
Resolutions in next post

Tag: Celesteh

Happy New Year!

Paris apartments are still full of blasting dance music, but I headed home early. Went to Isabelle’s place to celebrate. We ate home-made fois gras on top of ginger bread (well, I didn’t, but everybody else did . . . this is apparently traditional) and potatoes with baked cheese and everybody else had various baconish types of jambon. And drank oodles and oodles of wine and then had champagne. We weren’t keeping track of time, but when people outside started yelling and honking horns, we looked out the window and saw the Eiffel Tower all lit up for the new year, with a beacon flashing on top and then we heard fire works.
I burst into Auld Lang Sine (or whatever it’s called) but apparently the french custom is to yell “bonne année!” give everybody kisses on the cheek and then start SMSing everyone you can thing of and call you your family members to have the party scream “bonne année!!” in the direction of the phone. Also, switch on the TV to see topless vegas-type dancers doing high kicks to verify that in fact the new year has begun. (Later, I will post about French variety shows, as they’re really nuts)
Tags: Paris, Celesteh

I finally got around to watching the Dr Who Christmas special. It’s the first episode with the new (10th) Doctor. It was an episode worthy of the old series, as is the Doctor himself. It was silly, with people being attacked by alien Christmas trees. Also, the acting is not as good as it was with the previous doctor. Silly bad guys + bad acting +camp = excellent!! They couldn’t resist the classic pun (originally seen in maybe the second episode of the orignal series) “Doctor? Doctor who?” hahahaha. That’s comic gold, folks. For real.

I wish Rose had been a little less helpless. Why doesn’t the doctor show her how to use the sonic screwdriver, for X’s sake? The episode featured one of my favorite characters Harriet Jones, MP from Flydale North. Only in this one she was Prime Minister. She’s exactly the sort of person you wouldn’t want as your PM or whatever, until the end, when the writers suddenly betray her character. She does wrong and her government falls. It was a strange ending. But She’s in the previews clip for future episodes, so at least she might get a chance to redeem herself.
Also noteworthy: the Doctor is sword fighting a bad guy on the edge of a space ship. You can see the city below. Suddenly darth vader the alien cuts off the doctor’s hand with a lightsaber sword. “Luke, I am your father!” he says. After this lovely allusion, the doctor finally comments on the fact that he’s been running around for the entire episode in his pajamas, saying something about Arthur Dent, wondering what happened to him since the last time they met. It would be quite nice if they could do a few cross-over episodes with the Hitchiker universe. Maybe introduce some Vogons or something.
So when when when is the next episode? Spring time??? Are we talking early spring? Late spring? Does this depend on groundhogs seeing their shadows? How much longer must I wait? Why did they just do the one episode by itself?? The preview clip had some images of K9!!!!! I want to see K9 noooooow. I seem to recall that the 4th doctor left him behind on some planet that needed him, partially because he was a dog shaped super-computer ans was much too smart for dramatic effect. A literal Deus-ex-machina who even had a laser weapon mounted in his nose. The inspiration for Aibos, I’m sure. Every episode had to start with K9 being damaged in some unpredictable way or else he would foresee and solve every problem. Maybe he will need repair when they stumble across him. Didn’t see Captain Jack in the preview clip, alas. Maybe K9 will fill that roll by being a swashbuckling bisexual woman+manizer.
Find Doctor Who in Bittorrent
Tags: Doctor Who, Celesteh

So I went today to a doctor. There was nobody in the waiting room. Just some chairs and magazines. You sit down and you wait. Presumably, the doctor figures out that you’re there when s/he buzzes you into the building. So I sat and waited, in a small, windowless, smooth surfaced, echoy-as-heck room and the doctor came out. He spoke more English than I speak French. In general, I hate doctors. They make me anxious. He was ok, though. We talked for a few minutes. He took my blood pressure, listened to my heart and breathing. Told me my heart is fine. Asked as many questions as he could given the language issues. Told him that the first time I had a panic attack was when my mom had cancer. He said, I was freaking out about the death of my mother (ok, possible). It makes people more fragile. (ok, possible). Whatever. He gave me a prescription for Xanax. I walked across the street afterwards and got some generic Xanax. woot. Nobody said anything to me about any side effects or not to take it with alcohol or anything else. Nicole bought aspirin the other day and it doesn’t even say how often to take them. I guess that if you speak French, the pharmacist explains it to you, or maybe you have to ask. The aspirin’s drug info is all in French. I haven’t looked at the Xanax yet.

I don’t have health insurance in France, so I had to pay cash for a longish doctor’s visit and a prescription. The whole thing set me back 25€. Thank goodness the American government is saving us from the hell that is a socialized medical system! I can’t imagine living under a regime where I can call up a doctor, have an appointment the next day and walk out to fill a 2€ prescription, where even if the national health isn’t covering any part of it for some reason, it costs less than my new pillow did. God forbid that government regulation lead to easy, accessible, affordable healthcare.
Anyway, I’ve been getting better every day since Christmas, so maybe I won’t need to take any of my prescription. I remember some very drama-causing insult from over the summer where one person in my french class called another a xanax-popping old lady or some such thing. Oooh, how the sparks flew! You don’t mess with people who need tranquilizer prescriptions. If they could keep perspective on such things, they wouldn’t have the prescription, right?
So I’m fine. This blog is now set to return to news commentary, music commentary and wine reviews.
Tags: Paris, Celesteh

Around 13:20, I went to the doctor’s office and the door was locked, so I went home and called and I have an appointment for 5:00 tomorrow. I feel better every day, so this is going away on it’s own. But it would be nice to know that I don’t actually have heart problems. Not that I think I do, rationally.

Yesterday I walked for like 2.5 hours from my house to the Cité de la Musique, which is out at the edge of the 19th, just barely still within Paris. I followed the St. Martin Canal. I need to look at a map to figure out where I was.
Today, I walked the other direction, along the covered portion of the canal to Bastille, where it becomes uncovered again. There’s a nice garden there. I left much later. It was dusk. I took some pictures of posies peeking out from the snow.
My computer is kind of freaking me out, (because i’m CRAZY), so more later.
Tags: Paris, Celesteh

pharmacist says i should see a doctor tomorrow. gave me an address. ( ha, of course, i’m certain i’ll be DEAD by then! of tetanus! aiieee! )

it’s nice that pharmacists can give out such information. also, there’s a clinic down the street and i can just walk in.
Tags: Paris, Celesteh

Any of y’all got advice for dealing with anxiety? Can it be caused by short days and not enough sunlight, or what? I’ve felt anxious the last three winters, but, you know, my mom died and then I got divorced and stuff. Also, when I was at Wesleyan, I would get anxious as all my due dates arrived for final projects and then I would go home to California and feel more relaxed and much warmer. This is my first solstice away from California and I’ve got no deadlines I can think of and no source of stress aside from daily life and I’m as anxious as I’ve ever been. It’s driving me crazy . . . so to speak.

One day in the summer in New York, I received a particularly stressful letter from an adversarial divorce lawyer and shortly thereafter, my neck began to hurt a lot and I, quite reasonably, decided that I had tetanus and went to an NYC emergency room where a nice doctor told me that I probably didn’t have it. I’m avoiding repeating that embarrassment and am not running to an emergency room saying that I’m having a heart attack. However, anxiety + rapid heart beat + occasional chest pains is somewhat alarming, which tends to cause anxiety, which, yikes, vicious circle! If it’s not being caused by heart problems, it’s going to cause them.
I’ve cut out coffee and tea. I got for at least a half hour walk between 10-14, when the sun is high in the sky. I take vitamins. I sleep enough hours. I breathe deeply. And still, every goddamn day I find myself spending time feeling freaked out. But, you know, functionally so. Tomorrow, I’m cutting out sugar. And going to see a doctor tomorrow, I guess. I hate doctors. They make me anxious. ha ha ha. And seriously, wtf are they going to do for me? If I feel anxious every single day, punctuated by periodic panic attacks. I can’t be popping Xanax 24/7. Bah, the week between Christmas and New Years. Maybe I should just go to an emergency room, because then my stupid travel insurance might cover it and it’s not like I have any idea how else to access healthcare and isn’t everyone on vacation right now anyway.
After this year, I’m spending every winter in Berkeley or south of these from then on. Also, apparently, my exes are right and I’m one of the crazy people. Alas. Or, you know, I’m really having a heart attack…
Tags: Anxiety , Paris, Celesteh

Merry Xmas, all. If anybody is interested in VOIPing, I’ll be on and off iChat during my journée. AIM: s105h13

If Alex Ross is doing it, it must have spread beyond livejournal.

Four jobs you’ve had in your life: fast food, computer programmer, TA, lab assistant.
Four movies you could watch over and over: Run Lola Run, Heathers, um…. there are some books I could read over and over: Horse Heaven By Jane Smiley, The Wizard of Oz and the rest of the series by Frank Baum, The Lord of the Rings by Tolkien. Oh, that’s a movie too. I guess I could watch it a bunch of times.
Four places you’ve lived: Cupertino, California; Berkeley, California; Middletown, Connecticut; Paris, France
Four TV shows you love to watch: Dr. Who, The Daily Show, The X files, Star Academy
Four places you’ve been on vacation: Hawaii; Belize; St. Petersburg, Russia; Portland, Oregon
Four websites you visit daily: Wonkette, Fafblog, Atrios, Overheard in New York.
Four of your favorite foods: broccoli, tofu & rice; baguettes; bbq corn and madelines.
Four places you’d rather be: (aside from Pairs?) Berkeley, Santa Cruz (on the beach), Berkeley and Berkeley.

Bonus round: 4 favorite cheeses: Emmental, Gruyevre, St. Nectair, Camembert.
Tags: Meme, Celesteh

Christmas is a’comin and it’s time to figure out what shopping I need to do. I thought that the franco-american hybrid vegetarian christmas food might be somewhat interesting. (Also somewhat interesting: “le bouffe” is vulgar. How can a word that means “food” be vulgar?) Also, I need real recipes for some of these things. I dunno if I can fake french toast.

An asterix means that I need to buy it. Parenthetical means that I’ll prepare it if Santa brings it.

Breakfast

Pain Perdue

• Brioche
• eggs *
• butter *
• soy milk
• sugar *
• cinnamon, etc

(pamplemousse)

Beverages

• mimosas: oj + champagne
• coffee *

The big meal

(salad)

I dunno about salad. It’s a lot of work for rabbit food.

Mashed taters

• potatoes *
• garlic
• creme fraîche
• soy milk
• butter *
• emmental

Yams

• yams *
• butter *
• raisins *
• maple syrup *

Gravy

• mushrooms
• onion
• garlic
• flour
• olive oil and/or butter
• soy milk *
• celery *

String beans

• 1/2 kilo haricots vert *
• butter *

Squash soup

• pre-baked Squash (I saw some butternut squashes at the hippie store!) *
• pre-baked Chestnuts
• onion
• garlic
• hot pepper (*)
• carrots
• rice and/or quinoza
• broccoli *
• celery *
• butter
• creme fraîche

Cheese

• st nectaire *
• tba other cheese *
• baguettes *

Dessert

I reserved a Christmas cake from the baker. I love living in a civilised country where you are not expected to perform baking feats, but can get a very high quality cake from across the street.

Beverages

• mulled cider: spice + apple juice
• mulled wine: spice + cheap wine (maybe santa wants to bring an extra bottle for mulling)
• good wine
• (cognac)

Tags: Paris, Celesteh