Why is the International Day Against HOmophobia and transphobia abbreviated to IDAHO and not IDAHOT? The whole “hahaha the T is silent” thing is supposed to be a joke. If they’re serious about the leading ‘I’, then it’s surely not important that it shares a name with a state that few people have heard of outside of the US.

The big action in my town was a kiss-in. I planned to go, but then I didn’t. I mean, if I go and kiss a woman, then I’m a straight guy kissing a girl, which is just such a massive show of privilege. If I go and kiss a boy, it reminds of me of being in high school and wishing I were a straight girl and the uncomfortable kisses that resulted from that. meh. I don’t want to pretent to be a cis gay guy.

This might be unfair. Maybe it wasn’t like that. I can’t say for sure, as I didn’t go. But still, I don’t think a kiss-in makes a lot of sense in the context of fighting transphobia.

I like cis LGB people (some of my best friends are . . .) but I’m increasingly against hitching my wagon to their quest for rights. Like, absolutely, they should have full civil rights, and trans people should stand in solidarity with that. Heck, a lot of trans people are LGBQ. But when all trans people stand as a subgroup of LGB people, we’re totally invisible.

On the other hand, if we just had an IDAT, how many cis LGB people would even notice or mention it? It’s not like many of them go to TDOR, although most trans people I know go to the vigils that result when a cis gay man is killed – vigils which also say they’re against transphobic violence, but then only have cis speakers.

I don’t want to be a hater about this. Homophobia is bad and I’m against it. Transphobia is also bad, but if you don’t really want to talk about it, then just don’t mention it at all. Most twitterers have completely neglected the silent, invisible T. So, if transphobia is totally beside the point, then don’t bother bringing it up in the first place. I’m tired of being disappointed and invisible.