Hangover Cures

I feel I should share this as I know that at least a couple of people who read this occasionally might want this information. I, for example, am not hungover right now, but there are children in [third world country] who are. Anyway.

If you drink alcohol, you then feel buzzed. This goes away eventually as your body converts booze into something else. This is a good thing or else those few beers would leave you messed up for the rest of your life. Yikes. Anyway, this conversion process uses vitamin B and water. A lot of the converted alcohol ends up excreted to your skin. When you feel crappy the next day, it usually because you’re short of water or vitamin B or because your skin feels like it’s wrapped in bar-flavored saran-wrap.
Therefore, in order to avoid feeling bad, pre-stock what you’ll need. Drink some water before you go to bed and ingest some b-vitamins. One excellent source of vitamin B is yeast (the solution is within the problem!). This is why homebrew drinkers, in addition to being smug and making snarky comments about pabst blue ribbon (a cheap, terrible american beer), almost never get hangovers. Because of the yeast in the bottom of their bottles. However, rather than coming home and having a homebrew nightcap, it may be a good idea to mix nutritional yeast with fruit juice and drink that. Nutritional yeast is also tasty on popcorn. Dont’ worry about drinking too much water, since it’s going to end up on your skin rather than getting you up during the night
In the morning, you’ll want a shower. A hot one. Sweating is good. And you’ll want to drink some water or other fluids. Coffee or tea are good because they contain caffeine, which is good for headaches.
don’t take vitamins when you feel sick, or you’ll be sorry.
also, certain alcohols are worse. Corn liquor is terrible and cheap as hell, which is why off-brand hard lemonade can leave you feeling like hell even if you only drank in moderation.
However, there is no cure for feeling regret the next morning because, say, you were at Seymour’s and fell over a sofa and onto some exchange students. . . . I miss wesleyan.
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Charles Céleste Hutchins

Supercolliding since 2003

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