“Bank” means “sofa” in Dutch

But it’s a good thing they’re different things, or nobody would let me sit anywhere. I have gone to every bank chain in the city, as far as I know. I have never encountered anybody who wanted my business less. What is causing this?
All of my American classmates have managed to open accounts, so it’s not anti-Americanism. Is it sexism? Is it homophobia? Do I not closely enough look like a student? Am I too butch for them? Not manly enough?
I ask for an account and they start looking for reasons to say no. Note that I don’t say that they’re listing requirements. They quite clearly want to refuse me. Given that I’ve gone to the same banks as my classmates, I can only assume that I’m experiencing discrimination. I was hoping that being the recipient of antigay slurs at the train station was an isolated event, but maybe not. Or maybe it’s something else.
I really miss France. Their bureaucracy is way easier and more logical than here. And when it wasn’t, one could always resort to yelling. I don’t think that will help here, but I’m about a millimeter away from it.
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Charles Céleste Hutchins

Supercolliding since 2003

3 thoughts on ““Bank” means “sofa” in Dutch”

  1. I would definitely recommend yelling. Specifically something to the effect of “OH, IS MY LESBIAN MONEY NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?! MAYBE YOU THINK I SHOULD BE BRANDED WITH A PINK TRIANGLE SO EVERYONE KNOWS I’M A DYKE. THAT’S WHAT YOU PEOPLE DID WITH THE JEWS, RIGHT?!!”
    I can practically guarantee they’ll do everything necessary to shut you the hell up. You’ll probably even get a free toaster out of the deal.
    Even if they still refuse you, at least you’ll feel better about it.

  2. I think you may be confusing the Dutch with Germans. The Netherlands was invaded by Germany who did a bunch of bad things. The lingering resentment, however, is over bicycle theft and not genocide, murder or starvation, so you may have something of a point. But Nazis did not make Jews wear pink triangles.

    I was thinking something more along the lines of yelling about SOFI numbers, passport stamps and the like rather than Nazi comparisons. Although, I’ve heard that threatening to shit on the floor can have a motivating effect. I don’t think I could make it sound like a credible threat though.

    My gas and electric bills are unpaid though, so it might become credible.

  3. Did you try the Postbank? They are usually the most resonable. You just go to the post office (the big one on the corner of the Prinsestraat is the best to go to), and ask there for a girorerekning.

    Personally I don’t like banks at all, especially the ABN-AMRO! Usually you can do anything you want to do with a girorekening.

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