Valerie Solanas on War

The male’s normal method of compensation for not being female, namely, getting his Big Gun off, is grossly inadequate, as he gets it off only a very limitted number of times; so he gets it off on a really massive scale, and proves to the entire world that he’s a “Man.” Since he has no compassion or ability to empathize or identify, proving his manhood is worth an endless amount of mutilation and suffering, and an endless number of lives, including his own – his own life being worthless, he would rather go out in a blaze of glory than plod grimly on for fifty more years.

— The SCUM Manifesto
I’m not sure I’d apply her observation of males to all men, but they certainly do seem to apply to some folks with emotionally empty lives, that turn to things like cocaine, alchohol and imperialism to make themselves feel important.

My Day

So Protools wouldn’t startup, so I knew I had to call tech support before 3:00 on Fridays. So I called up and got the program so it would start-up. Then I knew I had to mail a check for my tuba before 4:00, so I walked Xena over to the mailbox a few blocks away and back and then had a discussion with the neighbor kid about how I cannot help her pirate a CD for her birthday tomorrow, because I have other things to do. Then I sit down in front of my computer and startup Protool (yay!) and hit “play” and it won’t. Hahaha. It starts, but it won’t play. I can’t call tech support again until Monday. I’m an idiot.

National Flute convention

I auditioned to play bass guitar at the national flute convention for the opening concert, and apparently I’ve been approved. whee! I’m going to Vegas! the band I’m playing with has mp3s on mp3.com, here: http://artists.mp3s.com/artists/172/polly_moller.html. this will definitely be an educational experience. She’s a master of extended technique on flute, which she mixes with her own unique vocal style.

Field Recordings

I’m using some of the five hours of field recordings I made at last thursday’s civil disobediance for the music for Aelita. Right now, I’m listening to the tape I made of the BLO. I’m not sure if I can use it, but I may post a link here, if I dump the Minidisc to my computer. It’s really… something.

New Cello Player

we found a new cello player. She’s a grad student at Mills. Now we just need to reschedule all the rehersals. I still need to write software for Aelita. I hate being this last minute. Next time, I’ll be on top of things. really.

You can get really used to being unpopular

Grad schools like me. I don’t know what to think. Then I get you’re-great email from somebody on a mailing list I’m subbed to. . .. Don’t these people realize that I was the second grader chasing people around with snot? I’m not cool. My music is amaturish. I can’t spell. If I were a better person, I’d be marching with the anarcho-communists against war, not messing around with burgeouise music and graduate school. Or I’d at least have the tapes and music done for tomorrow done by now. I at least got my trio written. The name is a pun. In Esperanto, it means “[the Esperanto name of my Esp teacher] Trio.” Bilingually, it means “Trio Trio.” In English, It’s “Trio [Proper Noun].” I have a midifile of it that goes way too fast and I can’t slow it down because protools is broken again. Listen to Trio Triopo. Of course, it’s completely student-y, since I’ve never written for those instruments before. I don’t even know if the flute will be drowned out irl or what.

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